Setting limits on flirting

Flirting is exciting, but when does flirting cross the line when a married or committed individual is involved? Here are my thoughts, but I would enjoy to hear your feedback at the same time.

When has flirting gone also far?

1. For those who wouldn't do what you are undertaking in case your partner (or their partner) was present, you have got probably gone as well far.

two. In the event you will be uncomfortable along with your companion Doing, SAYING, or ACTING the identical way, you've got likely crossed the line.

But what if I’M not within a partnership? In case you are not in a connection, but the particular person that you are flirting with is, are the limits set by you or the committed celebration? That is a sticky predicament. Right after all, if they were Truly committed, would they be involved within the flirts? Glass sex toys is good choice to couples' sex life.

To me, beyond ethics, morals, and underlying beliefs, the bottom line is this… if the “committed” particular person is flirting with you whilst attached to somebody else, why do you believe it would be any various in the event you were in a relationship with them? Although some individuals can change, in most instances, cheaters are certainly not transformed, they basically uncover a new individual to cheat on. You will feel a real wet pussy with lubricant joining when you twitch the fleshlite.

What are your thoughts? Are you currently inside a relationship? Just how much flirting is a lot of? Some people’s personalities are naturally a lot more flirtatious. Is that an excuse? If you're not inside a connection, are committed folks nevertheless fair game for the flirtation? Do you seek out committed men and women, or do you favor to flirt with “available” individuals? Why? What is your personal expertise with flirting although one party is in a committed partnership? How did the flirting begin, and how did it finish?

Top 10 New Year’s Sex Resolutions

There are 100′s of New Year’s Resolution lists out there, but they’ve all forgotten one of the most important areas of our lives – SEX. The most I’ve seen this topic covered is something like “have more sex” or “have better sex”.

We’ll I’ve decided to give you some ways that will actually help those resolutions come true…

Here are my Top 10 New Year’s Sex Resolutions. Add these to your list and you’re guaranteed to have more and better sex this year!

1. Lose the Idealism
To truly enjoy sex, there is one thing that you absolutely must do – Stop worrying about what other people think. Get rid of all of those self-imposed limiting beliefs that are keeping your sex life utterly boring. You know the nice girls don’t do this, good boys don’t do that, and this is how sex should be stuff…

Find someone who likes to play the way you do and have fun!

Sexploration’s, Brian Alexander said it best this year: “Can we resolve to get over the idea that his holding your wrists down to the bed means he’s a Neanderthal brute, or that she’s a bitchy feminist if she wants to ride you like Sea Biscuit? Sex is supposed to be joyful, exhilarating, intimate and revealing.”

2. Try New Things
Vow to try new sex positions, new sex toys, and new sex acts this year. Variety is the spice of life and adventure broadens your horizons. Don’t be timid in the New Year, keep an open mind and try something new in bed, whether it’s anal sex, a threesome, or living out your wildest fantasies. It could even be as simple as just admitting that it’s OK to like sex.

3. Embrace Erotica
Read more erotic books and watch more erotic movies (ideally with your partner, but if you’re flying solo – enjoy!). Don’t like porn (we don’t either)? So watch some of those very erotic but not quite porn movies like “Wild Orchid”, “9 1/2 Weeks”, “Body Heat”, and “Sliver”. They get me excited every time!

Commit to reading at least one erotic novel each month. My favorite author in this genre is Don Winslow, but there are many more to choose from. Find an author and a theme that you like and start reading. I challenge you to get through one whole book without getting excited.

4. Have More Sex. Lose Weight. Feel Great.
Sex is great exercise and it’s WAY more fun than going to the gym. Sex improves circulation and aerobic fitness by increasing heart rate and respiration, and exercises many major muscle groups. Did you know that you can burn between 100 to 300 calories per hour during sex? …

5. Talk About Sex
Have a conversation with your partner or friends about sex. Again, lose the idealism. If your friends don’t like to talk about sex – find some friends that do. If you have a partner, how else are you going to know what turns them on? How will they know what turns you on? Not talking about sex is a certain recipe for disaster, or at least a really boring sex life.

A word of warning… Please use compassion when talking and listening about sensual topics. For some reason, it’s really hard for most people to talk about sex. Our egos get offended and our feelings get hurt. So be patient and listen without judgment or bias. In the end everyone will learn something about sex and you may even be happier for it.

6. Male Masturbate
This is something that just about everyone does and almost no one talks about. Get over it! With all your efforts toward self-improvement, don’t forget to reward yourself with some good old-fashioned masturbation. It’s one of the best ways to relax, ease your tension, and get in touch with your body. Take a time-out from your hectic schedule and spend some quality time with yourself.

If you can’t enjoy and love your own body, how can you expect anyone else to ever please you?

7. Live Your Fantasies
Make a commitment to live your fantasies this year. What do you think about when no one else is around or when you’re masturbating? Write it down and share it with your partner. Who knows, they may just want to help you play out your favorite fantasy and you’ll both be in for some exciting surprises. Just talking about your fantasies with your partner can often lead to hot sex on the spot.

8. Organize Your Sex Toys
Quit tossing that vibrator under the bed with the dust bunnies. Keep your ropes, leather straps, dildos, vibrators, and other sex toys clean, organized, and carefully stored in a drawer or box. They’ll last longer and you’ll always know where to find them when you need them.

Having said that – sex toys may not be your thing… But don’t make that decision until you’ve at least tried several variations. Revered sexologists and sex therapists write our sex toy reviews and sex toy buying guides. Read honest reviews on various sex toys, vibrators and lubricants.

9. Dress to Impress
Do you really expect your partner to see you wearing your baggy shorts with the hole in the backside, your hair sticking out, and those glasses at the end of your nose as you read the paper, and still find you sexy? Do you feel sexy when you dress that way – NO.

Save those “extra comfy” clothes for those times when you’re alone – wear something nice when you’re together, or at least get dressed…

10. Put Your Partner First
Guys, be more considerate – let your partner orgasm first. She puts up with a lot, so try putting her first once in a while and give her a screaming orgasm (or two or three) before you even think about it. Ladies, surprise your man with impromptu quickie sex – they love it!

The Empowerment of Erotic Dance

I keep in mind as a kid becoming entranced by strippers. How was it that they had such confidence and control that they could sway into a area and remove clothing whilst maintaining their eyes locked on an additional human becoming? It seemed shocking to me that someone could not only show their vulnerability like that but additionally embrace and claim their own sense of power from it. Fast-forward twenty or so years and stripping and erotic dance are everywhere. From films to Pussycat Doll Burlesque to cardio striptease and pole dancing classes at the fitness center. The mainstreaming of erotic dance has occurred and I have to say, it does not make a negative Valentine’s present - not only to your partner but to yourself.


A myth about erotic dance is that it truly is only for the pleasure of our companion. Whilst it does give an chance to connect with our partner in a entire new way, I believe the particular person dancing experiences essentially the most benefit. Mastering to erotic dance can give us a wealth of information about ourselves. Not just sexually, but about our self-esteem, value system, interpersonal abilities and obviously physique image. There are numerous sexually and an emotionally well-adjusted lady out there who’s last Holy Grail is studying to erotic dance. It may give these females an opportunity to take a look at themselves as highly effective erotic beings for the very first time in their lives.

Erotic dance is about having into your personal physique and this can be no tiny feat. Take a look at our day-to-day existences. We mainly function in our heads. Even when we do physical labor we're so disconnected from what our bodies are basically performing that we don't get any real advantage out of it. Receiving into our bodies indicates paying focus to specifically how it feels to move this part or that. Distinctive emotions can live on a cellular level throughout our bodies and so certain movements may perhaps elicit an emotional response. Observing how our thoughts reacts to specific movements is important too. “I’m comfy with hip swaying but not with hip thrusts. Why is that?” Learning to examine our responses towards the encounter is essential. Are you still feeling lonely because of lack of partner? Don’t worry, dildos can help you solve this problem and even you the stronger feeling than the real man.

Taking time with ourselves, generating a attractive environment then watching ourselves move within a mirror is often a fantastic strategy to begin. Journaling about these experiences can give us insight. An excellent solution to graduate from watching oneself within the mirror could be to then attempt a DVD in your personal and then moving to a live class. Some girls need to surprise their companion with their moves, while other folks can use their companion as apart with the procedure to practice connecting. Perhaps starting somewhat at a time instead of feeling pressured to do a complete routine. As an example, decide to take 1 moment for the duration of the day to produce a movement that helps you feel erotically empowered. Your partner walks within the door, you make a decision to go suitable up to him or her and wrap one particular leg around the back of their legs as you kiss them gently. Are you able to picture how that must energetically modify the mood within a room? And it was all your undertaking. Many people are pursuing double stimulation. They wonder a double sided dildo to fill their ass and vagina at the same time.

Some females are intimidated by the truth that erotic dancing is performance oriented - “Don’t I have to be excellent?” What they do not comprehend is the fact that a lot additional is conveyed and I think seasoned by the dancer if they're connected to themselves emotionally, really being in their bodies in the moment. The ideal “performances” I’ve seen will not be these with the most acrobatic moves but those that look one of the most genuine, that genuinely come in the soul with the lady.

Using erotic dance as a tool to create sexual excitement and please your partner is good but employing it to obtain to understand your self and get comfortable with apart of yourself which you have already been denying is magnificent. It is funny but the far more women I see going trough this transformation, the more I understand just how much of it they energetically carry into the rest of their lives. Consider walking into a space understanding you may command every person there with just your energy. Now that’s empowerment.

Overalls and Exes

We broke up 3 weeks prior to I located myself slipping hands inside her overalls.

“I didn’t choose to dress up,” she mentioned as I felt the soft skin of her stomach beneath my fingers. “You do not deserve it now.”

“I really like you in overalls. I can not hold my hands out of them.”

She was standing in the bar with me ideal behind her and she knew I thought it was a bad concept. She knew I was a lot more worried about her than me, and she knew exactly the best way to make me do it anyway. She often knew.

She leaned her head back on my shoulder and took a sip of her beer, and I virtually moved away. I nearly stopped playing with all the hemline of her underwear, and I nearly didn’t kiss the side of her neck. She nuzzled against my ear and before I knew what I was doing my fingers have been inside her and there was no going back.

“You’re going to produce me come,” she mentioned and it wasn’t even a demand. It was a easy statement of reality and I accepted it like I did every little thing else. I pressed my two fingers against her, memory controlling my movement, and she took a different sip of her beer without the need of making a sound.

“I’m not going to allow you to fuck me,” she continued. “You’re going to create me come and I’m going to leave. You could come by oneself.”

My left hand joined the appropriate beneath the elastic and I held her open as I touched her the right way. I could really feel her body pressing down against me, but it doesn't matter what I did, she didn’t make a sound. Even when I felt her tremble and shiver, as well as when I felt her clench around me, she was silent. Her smile was a challenge and her voice created it clear she was going to win. Ben Wa Balls have special design. The usual Ben Wa Ball always have two balls which are used for stimulate women’s vagina.

She turned around and patted me lightly, feeling just how difficult I was beneath my jeans when she was completed. She smiled, and shook her head.

“It’s as well terrible we broke up,” she whispered. “Otherwise you’d be coming in my mouth inside the subsequent ten minutes.” Hitachi Wand may the first choice for women or couple.

I moved to say some thing, but she was quicker. Her empty beer glass sat around the bar in front of me as I watched her out the window till she turned the corner and disappeared.

Nicely, that was intriguing, I thought.

One Drop At A Time

He opened the window just before pouring a further glass of whisky.

She was on leading of me, and also the sheets for the bed were scattered all through the room. He stood and watched, as she rocked ever so gradually above me. I slid my hands up the firm muscle tissues of her thighs as he watched us, and to get a moment I wondered what he was considering. Bullet Vibrator is a nice mini vibrator for women to enjoy sex  with sex toys.

He leaned the small of his back against the windowsill, as he took a extended sip from his glass. I watched him lean in just after the second drink, and he took her hair firmly in his hand. Her hips stopped rocking, and I held her knees as he pulled her head back with slow and careful focus.

Her neck arched and stretched when she opened her mouth, and her eyes looked up at the ceiling as she tightened around me. She reached down with her hands, taking mine into them and squeezing as he gradually fed her the whisky a single drop at a time from his pursed lips. She gasped as she attempted to swallow, and she struggled to breath when he kissed her among each taste, but her neck was strained and his grasp on her hair was tight.  Discreet vibrators have special design and mini size. The whole features of this discreet vibrator will make you be convenient to enjoy climax.

By the time he was accomplished, she was moving once again, and I was thrusting up to meet her. The whisky dripped down her chin and neck and when he pushed her down towards me I could taste it on her skin. I couldn’t see what he did behind her, but she kissed me challenging, and inside seconds we were both coming.

Her breath was strong in my mouth as well as the weight of his body added to hers as she collapsed against me. I wrapped my arms around both of them, permitting my physique to continue it is quivering till gradually anything left me. Anal vibrators just one kind of anal sex toys, which help you get anal orgasm with different vibration

None of us moved. No one refilled the glass, and no one pulled the sheets up over us. No one spoke, and despite the chill in the air, nobody got as much as close the window.

Work, Circadian Rhythms, and Sex Drive

I just finished my second week at a new job (though it won’t feel official until my first paycheck next Friday, when I can finally stop living off my savings).  My job is 25 freeway miles away from my house, so I have to get up pretty early in order to be there by eight.  This has had several ripple effects in my sleep pattern and my sex drive, and also gotten me thinking a lot more about the BF’s sleep pattern and his sex drive, and I’m starting to realize just how huge a deal these sorts of things can become.


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I have what most doctors would probably consider a “normal” circadian rhythm.  If left to my own devices (that is, when I’m not required to get up at a particular time the next day) I will probably get tired and go to bed by 11:30.  Sometimes it’s a little earlier, sometimes a little later.  I will wake up on my own generally by 9, though if I’m woken up at 8 (which happened when I wasn’t working because that’s when the BF left for work) then I will usually just get up.  If there’s something fun going on (a party, a night out at a club/bar, a night of hot sex with the BF), I can stay up quite late, but I can’t sleep in much past 10–sometimes 11 if I wear a sleep mask once it’s light outside.

Now that I’m working, I have to get up by 6 in order to leave by 7:15 and get to work at 8 (once the semester starts and students are parking on campus, I will probably have to get up between 5:30 and 5:45).  Accordingly, my clock has readjusted within the first two weeks of this job.  I start to think longingly of bed around 9:30 and usually go lay down around 10, although I usually read a book for about half an hour to an hour after that.

What This Has to Do With My Sex Drive

When I was unemployed this summer, I would have told you that the minimum number of times I wanted to have sex was 4 times per week, ideally on four different days.  In an ideal world I’d have sex twice on each of those four days for a total of 8 times.  I also prefer morning sex because no matter what time I go to bed, it’s because I’m exhausted, and tougher to get “in the mood” (though not impossible).

Now I’m going to bed just as exhausted but much earlier, and waking up just as exhausted because it’s so early (though I usually shake it off within half an hour–and that’s without coffee, so be impressed).  So during the week it is much harder to imagine having sex.  Again, not impossible, but I’d really have to decide to have sex and then get myself in the mood as opposed to already being in the mood and deciding to have sex.

However, I maintain that my minimum number of times per week is 4, which means that I want to try and get those 4 times in between Friday night and Sunday night.  And my ideal 8 has become el dorado because, while it might happen sometimes, it’s unlikely that I’d have sex 8 times over 2.5 days every single weekend.

The BF’s Circadian Rhythm

I have long been aware that the BF has anything but a “normal” circadian rhythm.  I have known since our first date that he was an “insomniac,” though it didn’t matter so much when we were both in school because he could grab sleep during odd hours and still be functional at what are generally considered “normal” times.  However, about a year ago when he started working it seemed to me that it was taking him longer than normal to adjust to getting up early.  He started with the goal of being to work by 8 and it wasn’t workable at all for him, and even a year later he struggles to get in before 9.  Like, really struggles.  He didn’t get in until almost 10 today.

I was researching this online and discovered that he has something called delayed sleep phase syndrome, which is a type of circadian rhythm sleep disorder.  Basically what this means is that he’s not an “insomniac” because his body craves a “normal” amount of sleep; however, his internal body clock is not set to the times that the majority of people sleep.  If left to his own devices, he’d stay up until 4 or 6 a.m. and sleep until noon or 2 p.m.  Unfortunately it is little known and often misdiagnosed; additionally, it is not only “incurable” but not even able to be treated effectively.  Despite getting up at 6:30 or so on the weekdays, he doesn’t get tired until at least 2 a.m. each weeknight–and he still has to take sleeping pills every night to get to bed at that time.

The BF’s Sex Drive

When we first started dating it seemed apparent to me that the BF and I had very similar and compatible sex drives (by which I mean desired frequency), which is half the battle (the other half being chemistry and compatibility when you’re actually having sex).  However, while I still believe that’s the case, now that we both have “regular” jobs the differences in our sleep patterns have really begun to interfere with that.

During the week, I go lay down around 10 or 10:30 while he doesn’t come upstairs until after midnight and sometimes later.  Because he’s so sleep deprived during the week (after getting significantly less than 6 hours per night for 5 days), he reverts to his “preferred” sleep schedule on the weekend.  Right now, even if I go to bed at 1 a.m. that means he doesn’t go to bed until 5 hours later, and when I wake up around 10 (and often earlier), he’s not even going to be conscious until 1 or 2.  So we’re never actually both awake in the bed at the same time.

This leaves only daytime sex, which, while fabulous, isn’t always feasible because the weekend is also really our only time to run errands or hang out with friends.  And it certainly hasn’t been adding up to my ideal, and quite frankly not even my minimum.  I am starting to feel the lack a little.

The Big Questions

The question, of course, is what can be done about this?  There’s not much I can do to avoid being tired much sooner than he is at night, whether we’re talking the weekday or the weekend.  I’m trying to think of some creative ways to work some more sex into our week in a way that won’t seem forced or a chore for either of us, and could really use any suggestions that you all have.  There are some things that I’ve tried (shaking things up a bit with the digital camera and the outdoor sex, for example), but I would appreciate any advice or insight you all have to offer.

So what have you got?